How To
- dispose of a body in ways no one would suspect
- lose friends in less than 48 hours
- get it regular despite being a snotty, foul-mouthed bitch
- f*ck off on $40 a day
- stop caring without anyone noticing
- please a man just by shutting up
- make more money than anyone you know and still be a cheap bastard
- frighten your fellow passengers
- rack up a crap-load of debt and still buy everything you want
- act sober
- write a lame "how to" book
- get your wife to shut up in 55, year-long easy steps
- piss off the entire Mormon church
- exact your revenge on Google
- completely lose it once a month over virtually nothing
- fake empathy
- get a job, an education and pay your bills all without government assistance
- lose weight by getting disabled
- slip poison to the person in your office that sells Amway
- confuse a salesperson with one question
- deal with your own miserable existence by making mean-spirited fun of others
- not be reeled in by the flashy, big promises of those anti-smoking ads
- find something bad in everyone
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