So, recently I met with my financial advisor to discuss my retirement plan. He asked me what I'd like to do after retiring, and here are some ideas that I had...
- Spend more time outside of David Caruso's house.
- Not a goddamned thing.
- Re-read old porno mags stacked up outside trailer.
- Take out trash, finally.
- Travel to next county and learn about their culture.
- Rail against the Canadian government.
- Get in on free-government-cheese gravy train.
- Scratch all day.
- Spend a butt-load on polyester pantsuits.
- Finish a book.
- Get that mole looked at.
- Feign senility to get away with insulting people to their faces.
- Campaign to get Lawrence Welk and Hee-Haw back on the air.
- See what's shaking at Wal-Mart.
- Never wear bra again.
- Get my G.E.D.
- Call everyone Billy.
- Spend less time with everyone.
- Bitch about government. More.
- Try to figure out appeal of morning shows.
- Have facelifts until I have a beard.
- Spend more time with someone else's grandkids.
- Sit on porch, threaten kids with rifle if they don't, "Get offa my lawn!"
- Drive pretty much the same way I do now.
- Cheat death for another year.
- Recruit gigolo.
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