ü Some people have skeletons in their closet, Gary has actual human remains
ü Raves maniacally that he was an actor and starred in something called "The Buddy Holly Story"
ü Reality program "Living with Busey" is a cakewalk compared to really living with Busey
ü Names his Bolo ties
ü Has every album Diana Ross has ever recorded
ü Forgets to wear helmet around the house
ü I was only 15 when I married him, he traded my parents a pig
ü Wraps Christmas presents in Temporary Restraining Orders
ü Had a brief, torrid love affair with Anne Heche
ü Only gets turned on by being told how much more attractive he is than Nick Nolte
ü Frequently scratches his "area" with a claw hammer
ü Feels that "all ages" John Eddie show contains appropriate subject matter for children
ü Arranges his sock drawer using principles of Feng Shui
ü Has $3k a week Flintstones vitamin habit
ü He brought a date to our marriage therapist appointment
ü Almost lobotomized self once trying to clear his sinuses with a Phillips head
ü Cries after sex, especially when he catches you having it with someone else
ü Not only were his parents cousins, they were unmarried cousins
ü He's sterile from years of pine cleanser consumption
ü Believes he is Willie Nelson's half-brother
ü Masturbates like a chimp on Cialis
ü Goes through like seven Epilady shavers a year, you don't want to know how
ü Lost his virginity to Sandy Duncan
ü Mugshot is posted in the employee lounge of every "Hooters" in North America
ü Monkey-ass crazy is, as monkey-ass crazy does
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