Most dolls are 12" tall; his is only 10" to appear more to scale
At least it doesn't talk
Unlike pretty-boy Ken, Bon Jovi doll is anatomically correct
It's the little outfits that really cost you
"Bad Medicine" CD sold separately
More like Bon Jovi "not getting any" Action figure
Bon Jovi groupie dolls made with less plastic than actual Bon Jovi groupies
Richie Sambora dolls serve dual purpose as handy doorstop
Doll doesn't speak to or acknowledge you, just like real Bon Jovi
Free Tico Torres dolls included with purchase
Bon Jovi doll plays more chords than actual Bon Jovi
Doll hair not waterproof
Free VHS copy of "U-571" with every purchase
When used appropriately, just as satisfying as real Bon Jovi in bed
Richie Sambora doll's head can also be used as a pizza cutter
Dolls actually gayer than real Bon Jovi
Doll also incapable of choosing a script that isn't shit
Life-like IQ
You can claim doll as a dependent in New Jersey
Doll also known to make surprise appearances at "Jukes" shows
Doll's house still costs more than yours
Can kick G.I. Joe's ass ('cus he's a cowboy…on a steel horse he rides…)
Tiny Denise Richards doll blows tiny Richie Sambora doll
Like real Bon Jovi, doll will probably also sell out
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