Good Concert/Bad Concert…John Eddie Concert

The woman in the front row is topless = Good Concert
She's your mom = Bad Concert
She's also pantsless = John Eddie Concert


The good-looking lead singer slips you his room key = Good Concert
He asks you not to wake his mom when you come in = Bad Concert
He just wants you to clean the room = John Eddie Concert


Rolling Stones covers = Good Concert
Whitney Houston covers = Bad Concert
Both covered, and guitar used to represent phallus = John Eddie Concert


Blistering guitar solo = Good Concert
Blistering piccolo solo = Bad Concert
Just blistering = John Eddie Concert


Roxy is in the front row screaming = Good Concert
She's screaming, "Untie me now, John Tesh!" = Bad Concert
She's screaming, "Has anybody seen my panties?" (every guy in room raises hand) = John Eddie Concert


The band plays all of their hits = Good Concert
It takes them three minutes = Bad Concert
Every one of them features the word "fuck" at least twice = John Eddie Concert


Lead singer is drunk again = Good Concert
Lead singer is born again = Bad Concert
Lead singer is an hour and a half late = John Eddie Concert


Your friend is making out with one of the guys in the band = Good Concert
He has an open sore on his lip = Bad Concert
Your friend only "looks like" a chick = John Eddie Concert


It's the hottest thing to do in town tonight = Good Concert
That's because a fire broke out = Bad Concert
The second hottest thing to do is cow-tipping = John Eddie Concert


Two chicks make out = Good Concert
They're the Indigo Girls = Bad Concert
They do it onstage = John Eddie Concert



…if you never see John Eddie live in concert, you will have lead a sad, deprived life, and I pity you