Other Things That “Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time”

(another homage to my favorite songwriter, as I identified with the inspiration/sentiment)

ü giving Willard Scott that lifetime contract

ü remaking "The Bionic Woman" TV show

ü Letting Britney Spears make her own career decisions

ü Saving yourself for marriage

ü Gun control

ü Unprotected sex with any member of the Osmond Family

ü Listening to Michael Moore

ü A bottle of whiskey, a member of a "Tull" cover band and as much Crisco as you could get your hands on

ü Joining myspace.com

ü Bartending on a cruise with John Eddie, his band, entourage and fans

ü Taking those pills you found at the bottom of Lindsay Lohan's purse

ü The entire government of the state of New Jersey

ü Congestion pricing for NYC drivers …oh no, wait …that's "Seemed Like The Most Fucking Retarded Idea I've Ever Heard"

ü Natural childbirth

ü Unnatural childbirth

ü Explaining to Jessica Simpson or any reality TV star that Jimmy Buffet and Warren Buffet aren't brothers

ü Telling me how you really feel about me

ü Renting "Jerry Springer's Erotica"

ü A free t-shirt for showing my boobies to the camera!

ü Yoko Ono's karaoke night

ü Pointing out to your fiancé's parents the phone booth where you lost your virginity

ü Trying to blog witty on 4 hours sleep

ü Setting fires just because your iPod told you to