Roxy’s Dating Advice

Roxy's Dating Advice

v Never call his wife to see if he's free
v Don't just immediately get naked and start going at it after dinner, at least wait for the check to come
v Make sure you're not in the film he invited you over to watch
v Always refer to him as Mr. Senator
v It is not cool to bitch-slap his ex. Unless of course, he's not looking
v If he asks you to loan him $30k for a few weeks, he's probably scamming you. Unless you really, really, really love and trust him
v Remember when on a date, dinner and dancing doesn't involve a pole and a $9.99 buffet
v "Fuck me" pumps is just an expression, if you want it to be
v It's not a good sign if he has to just drop off some pizzas on the way to the theater
v Ladies, you can't judge a book by its cover. It doesn't matter what kind of car a man drives, make sure you see where he lives, too
v A true lady can resist the temptation to stab your fork in his eye if he mentions freakin' Mariah Carey one more time!
v No matter how long he waits to call you after a date, it is never okay to harm one of his pets
v If at any point during the evening he calls you, "Mommy," run, don't walk, to the nearest exit
v Guys, it is never cool to date her sister. I don't care how much of a screaming hell-bitch she was to you
v By third date it is okay to get his ATM card and pin number
v Test his commitment to the relationship by sleeping with his father
v If he says he wants to set you up in an apartment, make sure his intentions are good, and that he means the security deposit and utilities, too
v A true gentleman lets you ring the little bell on the ice cream truck
v Ladies, it is never proper to begin a date with, "You're not a cop, are you?"
v If she's trying to convince you to join Scientology, it's not really a date