Thanksgiving Memories

The time the spirit of the season overtook us, and we freed all of those Asian immigrants we kept chained, making wallets in the rec. room… and let them use the bathroom

Grandpa's first successful parole hearing

The family gathering to watch a classic movie about the occasion… Saw II

Stuffing next year's Halloween candy with razor blades

Getting the Christmas decorations out of next door neighbors' basements

My first time on the pole

Stuffing the wrong bird

The Great Mormon cranberry ban of '02

Watching the fire light dance on the embers, as my enemies burn

Arriving early to find a good spot at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, and pick-pocketing like a Dickens character on speed

Blowing Snoopy… you know, up… for the big parade

The annual train ride to visit our divorce lawyers

When a loved one reminds us of what's really important, like who our Daddy is

Vacation time away from the Death Squad

Grandma finally getting off her fat, drunk ass to cook something

The joys of preparing for a child's first rehab stint

Catching Dad in Mom's new party dress, without the matching bag and shoes

The whole family venturing together out into the woods, to cut down a rival crime family