The time the spirit of the season overtook us, and we freed all of those Asian immigrants we kept chained, making wallets in the rec. room… and let them use the bathroom
Grandpa's first successful parole hearing
The family gathering to watch a classic movie about the occasion… Saw II
Stuffing next year's Halloween candy with razor blades
Getting the Christmas decorations out of next door neighbors' basements
My first time on the pole
Stuffing the wrong bird
The Great Mormon cranberry ban of '02
Watching the fire light dance on the embers, as my enemies burn
Arriving early to find a good spot at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, and pick-pocketing like a Dickens character on speed
Blowing Snoopy… you know, up… for the big parade
The annual train ride to visit our divorce lawyers
When a loved one reminds us of what's really important, like who our Daddy is
Vacation time away from the Death Squad
Grandma finally getting off her fat, drunk ass to cook something
The joys of preparing for a child's first rehab stint
Catching Dad in Mom's new party dress, without the matching bag and shoes
The whole family venturing together out into the woods, to cut down a rival crime family
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