- You were born without a head
- You're still upright and taking in oxygen
- People stopped dancing "The Hustle" in groups at least 20 years ago
- Wearing pants on your head is only funny once, not everyday
- You were the inspiration for "Gomer Pyle, USMC"
- You think that Sandanista is Santa Claus' sister
- The way your ear twitches uncontrollably makes me want to shake you 'til you're dead
- You only spell "come" the dirty way
- Even worse than being in a "boy band" is being manager of one
- You talk on the cell phone too much... while using the bathroom... at the bus station!
- You ended up 20 miles from home before you realized that "No U-Turn" didn't mean you specifically
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