ü never taste hand sanitizer, even if it smells like fruit
ü mouth-to-mouth resuscitation with a gas station air hose doesn't work
ü before you call someone an "ignorant whore," stop and think to yourself, "Do I have on a decent pair of running shoes?"
ü Ozzfest attendance is not a license for public nudity
ü before going down on a politician, make sure he's wearing his seatbelt
ü never pass out in an RV, 'cause you never know where you'll wake up
ü if a guy says, "I make it with a different girl every night!" He's leaving out the part about it costing him $7.99 a minute
ü rubbing alcohol is strictly for rubbing
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