• She can hear eggs
• She fears doorknobs
• She only speaks in French to her cats
• She's sexually attracted to landmines
• She considers Della Reese a close, personal friend
• She buys wax paper in bulk
• She is convinced she was developed by Microsoft as a weapon
• She kisses a minimum of 17 people a day
• She wears three pairs of socks at all times, but not on her feet
• She is convinced that every guy who wears an earring is really a pirate in disguise
• She is aroused by water, but only 12 oz. No more, no less
• She had a three-way with Wayne Newton and Barry Manilow. Twice
• She lives in the shed
• She voted for Corzine
• She names pennies
• She once married a shirt
• She is proud to call John Eddie, "Dad"
• She refers to herself as Mrs. Dow Jones, for legal purposes
• She tells people her middle name is Bananarama
• She named all her houseplants Jeff
• She sells ad space on her toenails, at very reasonable rates
• She loves spyware, mmmm….spyware
• She hacked LinkedIn and connected 65,000 people to Kevin Federline
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