Ways To Make The World A Better Place

• Help the environment by using only rechargeable batteries in your vibrator.
• Reduce dependence on foreign olive oil.
• Use old asbestos to clean up black mold in your shower.
• Help the homeless; let your boyfriend move in.
• Reduce harmful waste products from textile manufacture, by wearing less clothing. You hear me, Brad Pitt???
• Figure out what the hell that smell is on the Jersey Turnpike
• Save electricity by not posting every damn cute thing your kid or cat does on Youtube.
• Reduce our dependence on foreign oil, by granting statehood to Saudi Arabia. Change name to "New Oklahoma"
• Recycle 80's pop stars, send on tour.
• Limit Jersey girls to one can of AquaNet per day.
• Help alleviate overpopulation by not breeding, you stupid bastard!
• Use old newspapers and oily rags to insulate your gas water heater.
• Reduce global warming by keeping your freezer open.
• Invest in tomorrow; send your children to work now!
• Save water, shower with your neighbors.