Actual snippets of conversations overheard in my house before 9am:
Do you think part of the reason I'm so preoccupied with death, is because I watch so many TV shows about death?
What are you fucking her? Oh that's right, you're not in the music business.
I just need to get numb. Numb, not dumb. That ship has sailed.
You know who I miss? Morning Guy.
Isn't that new blanket thingy with arms, just a robe on backwards? I know backwards clothing when I see it.
Okay, Doug. (I don't know anybody named Doug)
From now on address me as Admiral.
I didn't spend seven years in
You started this bad karma.
That's not what karma means.
"Entertainment Tonight" called, and apparently J. Lo is getting divorced. So, you're up.
It's just a parody. Which my fancy way of saying, "Yes, I am making fun of you, bimbo."
If "48 Hours" has taught me anything, it's that all "open marriages" end in murder.
The people on TV are telling the whole world about their bowel movements! I don't even know those people! Seriously, get some shame!
I lost a diamond in my panties.
Just shut the fuck up, and take the pills.
If you have to enlist Maury's help to figure out who fathered your child, it's time to seriously consider staying home Saturday nights.
No, it is a law, I checked.
Who wouldn't pay a dollar for pornography?
Bananas are confusing.
I'll be in a duffel bag under the shed, if you need me.
0 comments:
Post a Comment