Here's a crappy new blog that I wrote on the way into work this morning. Enjoy!
- if you should lose her, just hang out at the liquor store long enough, eventually she'll show up
-cheaper on gas than stalking some other people, since she can usually be found on the couch
- easy to tail her on a bicycle, even if she's driving a car
- chances are that at some point she already gave you a house key
- her rockin' bod
- you'll have the opportunity to meet the politicians she's stalking
-each time you stalk her, you get your card punched, and after 10 punches you get a free sandwich
- her beautiful horse lamp, am I right, fellas?
- there's a good chance of seeing her topless, usually when she goes out to get the mail
-you accidentally mistake her for Paula Abdul
- you and Gary Busey can carpool together
- free chips and salsa
- Barbra Streisand's security already knows what you look like
- she's easy to spot with the "Goat Ropers Need Love Too" bumper sticker on her car
- you just can't hear enough Tom Jones songs over and over and over again
- there are always plenty of socialist newspapers in her trash, to read if you get bored
- somebody's got do it, and it's probably your turn
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